Becoming an LGBTQ+ Parent: What Costs Are Involved

Starting a family is a life-changing decision that can bring happiness beyond measure, but it also comes with a substantial financial commitment. From diapers and clothing, to food and shelter, to education and after-school activities, the costs of parenthood really add up. In fact, supporting a child born in 2024 through age 18 is estimated to add up to $462,852—and that doesn’t include college.¹

For the LGBTQ+ community, the costs often extend beyond traditional child-rearing expenses, as family planning may involve alternative and expensive methods. Let’s go over some of the different paths to parenthood and ways to prepare for them.

Types of Adoption

If you’re interested in pursuing adoption, you’re not alone. Compared to heterosexual couples, same-sex couples are four times as likely to adopt and six times as likely to foster children.² The cost of adoption can vary greatly depending on the method of adoption and whether the process is completed through a public or private agency.

When choosing what path might work best for you, you may want to ask yourself a few questions. Would you prefer an open, semi-open or closed adoption arrangement? Do you plan to adopt within the U.S. or internationally? Do you want to adopt through a private agency or a public agency—or independently, outside of an agency altogether? Are you interested in being a foster parent first?

Know that each type of adoption has different considerations, regulations and costs involved. Because fostering to adopt is done through the public child welfare system, it tends to have the lowest out-of-pocket costs, ranging between $1,000 and $5,000.² On the other end of the spectrum, international adoptions can sometimes rise to the $70,000 range.² Note that, at this time, international adoptions can be challenging for the LGBTQ+ community, due to cultural biases and even explicit laws.

Assisted Reproductive Technology and Surrogacy

Another path to parenthood is via assisted reproductive technology, or ART. These options involve fertility treatments and surgical procedures that aide in the fertilization and hosting of embryos.

One of the most common and effective forms of ART is in vitro fertilization, also known as IVF, a series of procedures used to assist with the conception of a child. It involves surgical assistance to fertilize eggs and transfer embryo(s) to the uterus. On average, an initial IVF cycle costs $15,000 or more, with prices expected to rise in the coming years. It can potentially take several cycles of IVF treatments before an embryo is successfully carried to birth, meaning that a successful process can cost $45,000 to $70,000, on average.²

Surrogacy can be another path to parenthood—though it’s typically the costliest one. There are two types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. In a traditional surrogacy, the individual carrying the pregnancy is also the egg donor, whereas in a gestational surrogacy there is no genetic connection between surrogate and embryo.

The costs of surrogacy and the associated fees range from $60,000 to $150,000 and depend on many factors.² Depending on your specific arrangement, you may have to take into account surrogate compensation, health insurance costs, lost wages, background checks, legal fees and more. 

Financial Resources Available

For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, the costs on the road to parenthood can be significant, but there are resources to help make parenthood more attainable.  

First, consider starting with your employer. Companies are increasingly offering fertility and family-building benefits, with 40% of U.S. employers offering fertility benefits (up from 30% in 2020). Plus, 34% of companies now offer paid adoption leave, and 19% offer financial assistance with adoption.³

Depending on the chosen parenting method, you may also qualify for certain grants or other financial assistance outside of your workplace. Organizations such as HelpUsAdopt.org offer up to $20,000 to offset adoption-related costs, and foundations like Journey to Parenthood and the BabyQuest Foundation offer financial aid for assisted reproduction expenses.²

Finally, if you become an adoptive parent, you may be entitled to a federal adoption tax credit for qualifying adoption expenses. The maximum adoption credit for 2024 is $16,810 per eligible child and can be applied to domestic and international adoptions. Qualified expenses include adoption fees, court and legal costs, and adoption-related travel expenses.⁴

The Bottom Line

When planning for parenthood, there’s a lot to consider. Preparing yourself financially and having a sound plan for the future can make a difference. Once you’ve determined what path you want to take to parenthood—and what resources might be at your disposal—then you can make a plan to get there. 

It’s also important to know your rights. The laws around adoption and assisted reproduction are complex and vary from state to state, and the criteria for establishing parental rights for LGBTQ+ individuals can vary as well. That’s why it is important to retain a legal professional to help you along your journey.

Other trusted professionals, such as Financial Advisors, can also help you build and execute on your plan, to help you provide for your family’s future.

Footnotes:

¹ Business Insider. Parents could spend $26,000 to care for one kid this year. 2024

² Money Geek. LGBTQ+ Financial Guide to Becoming a Parent. 2023

³ International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans. Fertility Benefits Rapidly Rising as Employers Look to Attract and Support Talent. 2023

⁴ Internal Revenue Service. Adoption credit and adoption assistance programs. 2024